Officially I hereby state Brian and I have accepted a contract on a new home and also our current house with just 10 days between the two closings.  Meaning we have two weekends in that time to get all moved in, paint some initial rooms that we can complete easily, and do some pre-move-in work like installing can lights in the den and kitchen.  Oh, and to refinish the cabinets before I go putting all my dishwashed dishes in them.  (Just three short weeks until I have a diswasher full time!)

I don’t want to bore everyone with the ins and outs, but the the paperwork you must gather is simply exhausting now that the lending requirements have tightened.  We have divided and conquered with me in charge of the financial work and Brian in charge of the inspection side with slim to none hiccups in the process (other than the typical negotiating and nail-biting that accompanies it).  We’re agreeing on the plans and what we want to negotiate.  It’s.  Almost.  Over.  Thank.  God.

Aside from the formal logisitics, my brain and stomach have not stopped churning in anticipation and anxiety about getting everything done.  We are so very fortunate that we are in the situation we’re in, but that doesn’t mean my inner over-analyzer hasn’t been working full-time since we decided to purchase our new place. I’ve picked and re-picked furniture, paint colors, light fixutres, and the order of which I’m going to do all of this so many times I’ve lost count.  This cycle is ridiculous because as my good pal Jillian said to me, “a house is work in progress”.  (She has a good way of calming me down.)  My sweet husband also says this, and it’s probably time I start taking everyone’s advice and words of wisdom to heart.  I think the worst part is just waiting to move and waiting to decorate and wanting it to all look great right off the bat.  It’s what keeps me up at night despite how unrealistic it really is.

As for the progress of the two houses, we’re almost done with the inspection process on both (including repairs) and all seems to be good on the financial side.  Just a few more things to finalize.  It’s all in the details, as they say, but I’m officially giving an open invitation to anyone who wants to know more to just email me.  If you’re considering selling your house or buying a new one in this market, I’m your gal.  I will tell you that yes, we did “price our home to sell” and it seems to have made all the difference considering it was only on the market for four weeks.  During the holidays in the dead of winter.  We’ll consider this a big win but we’re still praying (yes, praying) with cautious optimism that  our closing dates will come and go with no surprises or letdowns.  All seems to be in order but it’s hard to shake the feeling of “what if this all falls through?!”.  That’s also adding to the anxiousness and never-ending stomachache that I presume will last until February 22.

Stay tuned for pics of the place and descriptions of my initial plans to redecorate.  Whew…I feel better.

I’ll get to the huge list of  really fun memories I’ve gained in the past year, but I wanted to talk about two fairly significant injuries that have been added to my long list scars and bodily harm  first.  They have been tacked on behind the time I weed-eated my leg.  Those who know me well are never shocked by my accidents, but I wanted to pay them respect because these were especially preventable and totally me.

I’d like to start with the time I was running around barefoot while celebrating our friends’ beautiful wedding in the Dominican Republic.  Crazily enough, I sliced my foot in the crease that joins the ball of my left foot and my big toe on a rocky path.  Go figure.  Picture hysterical crying as Brian attempted to stop the bleeding with a stiff room service cloth napkin.  Very absorbent.  Stitches that should’ve been stitched weren’t…I still have no shame not trusting a doctor in a third world country.  This  injury lasted at least three months due to its location.  Walking really hindered this process and it’s likely permanent nerve damage is done.  No big deal.  All worth it on a honeymoon/wedding trip with our closest friends and party animals.

Two and a half months later, I stupidly attempted to ride a green horse bareback.  One swift buck and I crashed to the hard ground on my neck.  My sister assumed I had broken it and was lying there paralyzed.  Good news – I wasn’t!  The result was  less severe, but seemingly chronic; a loss of curvature to the vertebrate in my neck, a diagnosed concussion, x-rays and one CT Scan, and 10+ visits to a physical therapist.  My dad perhaps summed it up best when he told me he “really thought I was slicker than that“.  Just another day on the ranch. Any lingering thoughts I had about being a cowgirl were safely stored away in the “that was sure fun, but no thanks” file.  I’ll stick to well-mannered 1,200 pound animals and I officially willed my “Cowgirls Rule” shirt to a worthy taker.  You’re welcome, Rachel.

Despite my dumb, yet unsurprising, injuries, Brian and I had so many great memories in 2011 with our friends and families, like:

• keeping our traditional New Year’s with the Michael’s
• the Soulard Dog Parade
• the Buchheit’s wedding
• the Michael’s wedding and St. Louis reception
• running in the St. Pat’s 5K
• running in a vet hospital’s 5K
• celebrating my Marmee’s 80th birthday with a surprise party for her, which was priceless
• welcoming home the LeGrand family from Seattle and being “in” on their huge suprise move
• taking my mom, sister, and niece to Grant’s Farm for the first time
• experiencing Summer in ungodly heat but we drank most of the sweat away, especially at the Kirkwood carnival with our bartenders Harris and Dick, and the camping trip on the Cuivre River
• taking my mom to her first Cardinal’s game
• enjoying a beautiful weekend at the Ozarks celebrating my sister’s milestone anniversary with Dot Foods, Inc.
• rediscovering my redneck side in Lafayette County by driving Gators and big diggers with my sister
• taking Brian to his first Missouri State Fair
• going to the Anheuser Brewery, a Hermann winery trip the same day as a FOO FIGHTER’s concert, and traveling to my cousin Trey’s wedding all in one month
• Hollerday III
• traveling to Denver and Vail for a beautiful first anniversary trip
• being in the madness of games six and seven of the World Series 2011
• and, speaking of championships, watching Higginsville in the 2A State Football Championships
• making a huge and exciting decision to buy a new house and simultaneously sell our current house
• a really easy-going Christmas with our three immediate families…which was blissfully relaxing (despite the throat-sawing feeling)

Reading over that list again makes me realize how much of a year can be consumed by things you really enjoy.  It’s just hard to sometimes take a breath and take stock of those things that are making your life full.  I relish these memories that I have, many of them in photos, to remember them and to help me quantify a good year.

2011 was a year in which I became more cognizant of the things I was doing and saying (except for that one time when I drank too much red wine).  I’ve been working keeping more to myself, and when appropriate,  saying the right things at the right moments, rather than feeling sheepish later because I probably offended someone or let someone get the better of me.

I’m going to stop apologizing for something I’ve done completely on purpose in order to soften the blow (you know, like at work when you apologize for something that isn’t your fault because you don’t want to seem like a jerk).  I’m going to stop sharing details that most people probably can’t remember or care about anyway.  I’m going to start  being more confident in my decisions.  I’m going to need less validation from insignificant things like Facebook.  And when I do need it, I’m going to concentrate more on what my close friends and cute husband have to say.  I think purchasing our second home has been a great lesson in this; one I’m happy to learn while I’m still in my 20′s.

At work I’m going to define where I can excel in activities I enjoy (i.e. my enjoyment of writing rather than strategizing); without limiting my potential to grow or pidgeon-holing myself in what hopes to be a crazy, yet more predictable year in corporate communications.  I expect to learn more and develop a routine.  Sorry for the shoptalk, but it’s approximately 40% of my existence.  Unfortunately, an emphasis must be placed on my attitude at work.  I’m growing up!

And on that work note, I’m going to be proud of the work I do because I know I do it well.  I’m not going to continue to be bashful when it’s confidence that needs to come across.

It’s been a really great year.  We’re on to year two of marriage, and we’re moving forward in many capacities.  I wish everyone who reads this a successful 2012; it’s not every year it’s 60 degrees on December 29.  Must be a good omen.

In other fun news, our house is officially on the market with an open house on Sunday.  Check out the listing and feel free to pass it on to anyone you think is on the hunt for a starter home near both Grant’s Farm and Bob’s Liquor.  Ha!  No pressure; just getting my social media on.  We are excited!

In the spirit of perhaps one day expecting a baby (not a velociraptor) in the next couple of years (and also just knowing when it’s time to move to something with more space), we are making a joint step forward as we have put a contract (and it has been accepted) on what we hope will become our second home.  Our little cottage is officially going on the market this week.  Buyers, come hither!

I can give everyone the answers you’re probably seeking…..ready, set, go!

1.  I know I just clarified the baby question just a few moments ago, but I will reiterate – we are not currently expecting a new baby Schaeffer on the way, but that doesn’t mean we aren’t carefully preparing for one to join us in the next few years.

2.  ”But you realize you’ll have two mortgages for a while if your current house doesn’t sell?”  Yes.  We do realize that.  We are gluttons for punishment.

2.  With those plans of a baby Schaeffer someday, we need more space.  Not only for a baby and all the stuff that comes with those little buggers (so I hear), but for guests should they want to stay with us.  Space for our loot, space to entertain our friends and family, and space to make some of those “want-to” improvements that will make our next home pretty rad for us and our guests.  Space for Brian to fully display all of his neon bar lights, guitars, and drums.  More on that in #4.

3.  We’ve found that one shining place we’d like to call home, but we remain anxious and nervous about the finalities until it closes.  We are both so excited about the location, the house, the backyard (and front yard for that matter), and the potential upgrades and finishing touches that will reflect Brian’s and my personal style in this house when we can make it ours.  Frankly, we can’t wait to start working on our dreamy plans.

4.  Until we are sure that we won’t jinx things, all I’m willing to show is the front of the house.  More pictures to come as we go from “before” to “after” with some of our changes.  It’s a three bedroom ranch house with a wet bar in the basement.  I mean, what else do you need to know…WET BAR.  With wood paneling throughout the entire basement!  But seriously though, it’s a pretty neat house and we’re excited for the possibilities in this new and awesome neighborhood.  We’re going to paint over the wood paneling.  Ignore the Christmas decorations…we didn’t ask for the lighted train in the contract.

5.  In the meantime, please let anyone know if they’re looking for a 2bd/1ba brick home with a new roof and new windows that your friends have this charming brick cottage for sale, perfect for someone/a couple who wants to host some backyard parties and wants to feel safe in a nice neighborhood.  The fire department is a stone’s throw away and if that’s not a perk, I don’t know what is.

6.  We have gotten wonderful support from our families and friends while we’ve been quietly hunting and making this possibly the most stressful Christmas on record of my adult life.  We have such good timing!  Thank you to those who encouraged us and understand that we’re getting a hell of  a deal in a neighborhood that I have been dreaming about for quite some time in this buyer’s market.  If things go well, some interested buyer will feel the same about our current house real quick-like.  We are hoping for the best as we now work to sell the first place we called “home” together.  Bittersweet, anxiety-filled, and exciting at the same time.  Hallelujah…holy shit.  Where’s the Tylenol.

Family portraiture isn’t something I’m extremely experienced in aside from the countless snapshots during the holidays, Grant’s Farm outings, HollerDay, etc.  But, I figured I’d give it a shot.  A portfolio of good examples that people will pay for doesn’t build itself.  Luckily for me, these trusted friends and family needed some Christmas card pictures, gifts, and some updated family portraits since the last ones they had taken had everyone clad in head-to-toe denim.  True story.

More on a blossoming photography business to come…I’m not quite ready to release to the masses.  A “kacey schaeffer photography” ordering site and hopefully a camera upgrade for me is in store for 2012 and it was a feeling of braveness that overcame me to even share that much. (Business name suggestions are welcomed…bird is the word photography?  kschaefphotography?  bird snaps?  I just can’t decide.)

Without further ado, here are some of the good shots I was able to get from quite possibly the coolest and most unassuming buildings I have ever photographed.  Cue shameless plug for me to get much better and someday be your choice for your photography needs so I can quit my day job.  (wink)

This is obviously not a family shot, but it's pretty interesting the things you find in small towns while taking family pictures.

more crazy, out-of-service grain pipes.

the happy Hall family.

one of my favorites of this bunch.

i smell Christmas card.

finally....a hint of a smile.

it only took 15 minutes for him to become a ham.

Most recently I did a family portrait shoot for a good friend.  These are proof that sometimes a grey day is a more interesting backdrop for photos, and maybe most importantly, sisterly love is a journey of headlocks, kidney punches and leg sweeps.  Here are a few:

Kev + Ang

headlock.

leg sweep.

oh hey.

an ode to that special time in the 2000's when senior pictures with your car was cool. or your horse, in my case. real cool either way. this photo is a joke - please no one assume I'm serious with this one.

Instead of critiquing these to death (as I’ve already spent several hours doing, so please be gentle), I’ll just acknowledge my subjects – you guys were second to none.  I had fun and I hope you did too!

Seriously though, if you’re needing some pictures taken, give me a buzz.  I’d be happy to.

Now, let me get to saying my peace while I share some of the ridiculuous stuff that’s been building in my brain for the past few weeks. Lately I’ve been noticing how little common sense there is around me sometimes,  at work, running errands, or even the lack of general etiquette of being polite.  I’m not terribly in the mood to be very polite right now, so I’m here to write some curt letters to those who have been making me say, “Really?  Really.” quite a bit, and not in a good way.

Dear Guy in our Parking Garage who Collided Head-On into My Friend,
You suck!  You drive a dented, sorry-ass, 2002 Chevy Cavalier.  And yet you have the gall to force my friend to pay you out of pocket from an estimate from one of the more espensive Chevy dealers, when clearly you aren’t going to fix your shitty, multiple-dents-on-every-side Cavalier.  Go ahead and enjoy that money, you classless douchelord.  And in the meantime, stop texting the girl you hit trying to pick her up LOL….she’s clearly not interested, you weirdo, LOL.  (This douche LOVED using the term LOL and we are still making fun of it.)

And STOP using LOL.  We’re not 13.   Oh, and we everyone also stop using the word “bestie”, and if you work with me, “voluntold” (which actually isn’t a word, just phrase that means you’ve been forced to take part in a project that could potentially suck the life out of you).  There are other, much nicer words in the English language we can use for good friends, laughing hysterically, or simply doing one’s job.

In the meantime, Cavalier guy, I’ve been noticing a lot of door dings and key scratches around the parking garage.  I’d watch yo shit.

Sincerely,
Looking Down on You and Your Really Pathetic Pick-up Lines via Text Message LOL.  Yes, we’re still laughing at you.

Dear Shitty Parent of Some Impressionable Children I Know,
While I’ve never been a parent, I realize caring for your children is the absolute and most selfless job on the planet.  By selfless, I mean that parents should want the best, most safe, healthy things for them in their homes and at school – usually this is a no-brainer. For those parents who aren’t interested in caring for your children’s wellbeing, you should be ashamed of your dismal parenting skills.

I know I’ve been in that scared spot between divorce where I didn’t know if i was coming or going and what to feel towards each parent.  For certain, trashier, unfit parents to be selfish while endangering your child’s health, you deserve to be publicly mocked and your children removed from your care.  Just my two cents…

Children need some structure, and need to feel happy on a loving, forward, positive, path.  There are good times to be had once this mess is over.

Sincerely,
A Little Birdie Who Wants it All Straightened Out for Her Birdie Friends

To the Landlord on Nottingham:
You, sir, are a terrible landlord.  You gave my friend the rigamarole, over and over not returning calls or emails in order to let her sign the lease to your adorable apartment, on top of repeatedly missing meetings.  What kind of landlord doesn’t want his properties to be full?  Are you the shittiest landlord in St. Louis?

Barring a medical emergency, there is no reason to treat a possible tenant like this.  Well, former-possible tenant because you sucked so royally.  You know those kind of great tenants that keep their places clean and quiet and alas, even pay their rent on time?  Yeah, well, she was one of them, so I hope you are cursed with lazy, jobless people with foul, body odor!

Sincerely,
Someone Who Has Once Been Taken Advantage of by Leasing Parties.  You guys are assholes!

Dear Kim Kardashian,
I think you’re a PR piece of work, but this skit really does sum it all up, especially Kris at the altar - Kim’s FairyTale Divorce.

Sincerely,
Growing Tired of your “Marriage is Hard” Bullshit by the Day

To the Guy on the Elliptical at the Gym, 
I applaud your efforts to get fit, I truly do.  However, when you leave a ring of sweat around the machine on the floor, I am grossed out by this.  Please clean up your bodily fluids.  It’s just really nasty.

Sincerely,
Needs a Raincoat to Work Out Next to You

Feel free to submit one of your own!  Feels good to let it out, I promise.

Game 6. Who knew?

View of the scoreboard from our seats on the Patio.

Game 7. View inside Paddy O's. Lots of personal space violations.

Chris & Brian

Inside the Bank of America Club for the ceremony. We can't believe it either.

Too cool for school. Such an awesome thing to see.

As we drove around St. Louis for five hours or so, we traveled to places that were significant to the Lemp family including the family mansion, several of the family member’s homes, and lastly, the Bellefontaine Cemetery, which is the eternal home to more architectural wonders and interesting people than one person could see in an afternoon.  To see the details of where we went on this tour, click HERE.  It’s a locally-organized tour that we thought was worth the money.  Better yet, I’ve never wanted to explore a cemetery more.  Below is a gallery of some pictures I took along the way, with some descriptions of what you’re seeing.

Courthouse entrance used for William Lemp v. Lillian Lemp's nasty divorce proceedings. Quite the scandal in the 1900's. I like the turtles on the fence.

Brian and Adam Lemp's copper brewing kettle.

Entrance to Hortense Place in the Central West End.

13 Hortense Place - Home and scene of Elsa Lemp's suicide, or murder, depending on who you talk to.

On to Bellefontaine Cemetery - this was an underground vault in which the top portion slide back and forth for access.

The stately Busch mausoleum. It is stated in Lillian's will that the mausoleum must be cleaned every week, and the ivy outside replaced every other year. These instruction are followed religiously.

The opulent entrance to the Busch vault.

The inscription above the entrance reads: “Veni, Vidi, Vici” — or “I came, I saw, I conquered.”

Hops flowers and vines, to signify the beer baron and also his love of wine...Adolphus actually didn't like the taste of beer. A well-kept PR secret if you ask me.

Lillian Busch had her father, the one who contributed all the money to start the brewery, placed out behind the vault. It was weird standing over one of the most recognized names in St. Louis history.

The bronze entrance to the Lemp vault.

Mr. Lay (big important guy at Bellefontaine cemetery) pointing out the different family members and their final resting place. Which was totally weird to me that they were actually IN THERE.

Beautiful warped stained glass inside the Lemp vault.

Brian, checking out the electric switch. The Lemp Vault is the only vault in the cemetery to have electricity.

A stately resting place for the Lemp's.

A young millionaire, Ellis Wainwright, had this vault built for his young wife. He commissioned the job to Louis Sullivan, who was an instructor to Frank Lloyd Wright.

The bronze doors of the Wainwright vault...so interesting.

This woman escaped death on the Titanic, and subsequently helped break the news to the world about the sinking to a reporter from the Post-Dispatch. Go figure.

One of the founders of Brown Shoe....for Jillian.

I'm fascinated with old-timey light fixtures.

It's not often you see two corners of brick in such contrast. at least i don't. Those crazy Lemp's.

The Lemp Mansion, restaurant, and B&B. This concludes the tour.

The further we went on this tour, the more fascinated I became with the idea of this St. Louis and all the “clubs” and elite societies that once ruled this city.  They’re still around, but they seem to be pretty veiled.  I came home and promptly started Googling some stuff, and came across this article, “Dinner at the Club, Darling?“, which talked about how athletic and country clubs in St. Louis have evolved as our society and our values have changed.  The article is about five years old, but it was interesting to me, especially since we were married at the club that August A. Busch Sr. started after St. Louis Country Club repeatedly rejected him and they reference this societal snub in the article.  Needless to say, there were lots of interesting things learned this weekend about St. Louis.  And I will definitely be going back to Bellefontaine to shoot some architecture.